The Art of Selfies – Short Story

I’ll write about my time there in detail on another post. This time last year, my beloved cousin took my depression into deep consideration and wrote me a short story to lift my spirits. And it honestly did and it still does to this day! It’s honestly amazing LOL!

Paria and the Omelette

“I can’t take it anymore” Paria released her utter frustration at the problem at hand. “My selfies just aren’t the works of art I know myself to be!”

She discarded her phone onto her bed. It was strange not sharing a bed with her sister anymore. University was a cluster fuck of change. Her life was so different. It suited her well in general however occassionally she’d catch the away from home bug-a-boo.
Taking selfies helped her deal with it. Atleast they used to. Recently that hadn’t been the case. She grew more and more displeased with her selfies. They were always the same. Her beautiful smile was just her beautiful smile. She glowed like no other and still there was something missing. She needed to take her selfies to the next level.

“God, I need your help. There’s something missing in my life and it has become apparent in my selfies. Please guide me to that which will bring me happiness,” she recited her prayer before getting ready for bed.

Her room mate Shaniqua was at her boyfriends house, so Paria felt especially alone tonight. It was nice though as she wasn’t one to share her feelings. She preffered to distract from her feelings with company. Her only time to reflect was when alone.
She knew deep down that her selfies, what was missing in them in particular, were only a reflection of something she felt she was missing in her life. That something elluded her however and nothing seemed to fill that hole. Shedding a single tear she lay down and drIfted off to sleep.

The next morning she was awoken by some asshole psychology major playing obnoxiously loud music at 8am in the halls of residence common room.
“Are you fucking mental!” she screeched at him. “8 in the fucking morning and ur ravin’ in the common room?”

“Relax bae” replied the twat with his faggy hair-do swayin in rythm with his hips as he danced and cooked to his shitty music. “I gotta dance when I cook or it doesn’t end up tasting as good as it could. I’m Mike bee tee dubz. You’re beautiful in the morning, can’t imagine how stunning you’d look when your’e trying. Semi colon close bracket.”Β Paria couldn’t help but blush. “Uhh, thanks. I’m Paria. Nice to meet you. Well im sure it could have been nicer if you weren’t a selfish twat, and did u seriously say semi colon close bracket.” That part she found cute but he’d never know.

“Woahh, and here i was about to offer you some of this lovely cheesey omelette. Don’t think I will now.” Mike had the cheekiest look on his face.
“Whatever like I can’t make… Did you say cheesey? How cheesey?” Paria loved cheese and as she glanced at the table she realised Mike must have loved cheese just as much because he had seven types of cheese spread out over the counter.

“As cheesey as you like my love” he replied with a wink.
Paria let out a little giggle. Her laugh was magical and Mike was not ignorant of the spell she had just placed on him.

“I thought the ministry of magic didn’t allow magic in front of muggles.” Mike whispered as if he were paranoid the ministry would hear. “So how is it you are able to laugh like that in front of me?”
Soooo cheesey Paria thought. Lucky for Mike cheese was her favourite food. “I’m a rebel….uhh semi colon closed bracket” she burst into laughter, completely in shock that those words had ever come out of her mouth.

Mike giggled with her and he slid a plate across the counter loaded with cheesey omelette goodness. Unable to resist, Paria sat down and started eating.
“So what do you study?” enquired Mike.

“No talk, just cheese” muttered Paria as she enjoyed the omelette. Which to her surprise was the tastiest thing she had ever consumed.

The end.

Post credits

Ten years later Paria became a successful (whatever you decide to be, you fill in the blanks.) With money and success only one thing was missing. Mike’s omelettes. So she used her resources to track him down and hired him as a 24/7 omelette chef. Now her selfies are considered the best in the world. What was missing? Some omelette on a fork.

She lives with her husband two kids and Mike and is happiest he’s ever been.

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